Okaasan, dearest
by TheMadButterfly
Summary: Childhood memories of Katsuya with is Okaasan. why he hates her. okaasan bashing. little yaoi with seto.


A/N: Hey. Haven't updated in a while for my other fics but i had this idea on Katsuya and his Mommy.

HEY please check my site out http/ sunshinepie. tripod. com/ index. html -its spaced out so you can see it-- (if this link doesn't work, go to my profile and go to my homepage!) Please sign the guestbook too! If anyone knows Seto and His puppy the yahoo groups this is the webpage cause YAHOO sucks and took all my groups down for stupid reasons grumbles..hates yahoo and i might just start updating at my site because is getting weird with not letting us respond to reviews what the heck is up with that? sighs...(maybe i should go back to mediaminer. org?)

Okay. So, this is a One-shot (?) about Katsuya and his Mommy-dearest

Summary: This is flashbacks of Katsuya's childhood with his Okaa-san. Abusive, hints of

yaoi-ness (Seto/Katsuya), okaa-san bashing...(Visit my site PLEASE! web url in profile. a seto/jou story)

**Okaa-San, dearest**

_I love you Katsuya_

_Don't you love your Okaa-san?_

_katsuya..._

_Katsuya..._

_Okaa-san loves you ...Katsuya_

_My little boy_

_I hate you ... katsuya_

_just like that bastard_

_katsuya_

_katsuya_

_katsuya..._

_Okaa-san loves her little Katsuya_

Katsuya pov.

_January 9_

My birthday is soon! I am excited. I hope I get a bike, then I can ride it with shizuka-chan. Shizuka got one for her birthday and a big pink cake too! I want a cake with dragons on it and chocolate! Shizuka is really smart! she knows lots things I don't. I am not real good at school. I don't know why. Okaa-san always tells me to do better but I can't. I try hard though! I just can't do it though. I always think of other things like playing in the sand box or what we are going to do in gym. I don't like making Okaa-san mad, I don't like it when she is mad. Like that one time when I was in the sand box and a big mean kid told me to get out. I didn't want to get out cause' I was their first! So, I hit him! real hard too! he cried and ran off. Okaa-san was really mad. She took me home and put me in my room and yelled real loud at me. I don't like it when someone yells, especially at me. I also don't like it when I get hit. Okaa-san is real mad. Her face was red. You like to hit? Do you like how it feels? I don't like it. I don't like it! Okaa-san hits me. My face is red from my tears and Okaa-san's slaps. I hiccup and say I'm sorry! I felt sad that I hit the kid then. okaa-san told me to shut up and sit on my bed and not make a sound. So, I sat there for a real long time! I got tired though and fell asleep.

I woke up when something hard hit my cheek. I moved away startled. Opening my eyes I saw Otou-san. He looked real mad. He asked me if I hit a kid today. I gulped and nodded my head. He grabbed my shirt and shook me, screaming at me that I was stupid and couldn't do that. I know that. Okaa-san already told me. I am sorry that I did. I wish I never did that. Otou-san stops screaming at me and lets me go, falling back to my bed. He tells me I can stay in here for the rest of the night and think about what I did.

I hear my family getting ready for dinner. I pop my head outside my door and see OKaa-san. I ask if I can come out for dinner now. Okaa-san ignores me and keeps setting up the table. I notice only three plates. She places the last plate on the table and snaps her head up looking at me. She yells at me to get back in my room, stay there, no dinner for you tonight, think about what you did.

Sitting on my bed, crying, I know what I did was wrong. I won't hit again. I'm sorry ...

_January 15_

School today. I don't like school. Did I tell you that already? I don't have any friends at school. I really don't like those three boys too. They are really mean to me. Always, picking on me! Today, I got Okaa-san really mad at me. It wasn't my fault though! Those three boys broke a window and told the teacher I did. No one in class really likes me. No one helped me. I told the teacher it wasn't me. That those boys did it. I don't think the teachers likes me. She called me a liar. I didn't lie though. why won't she believe me. I wasn't mean to teacher. Why won't she believe me.

Okaa-san was called. She had to come to school and talk to the principle. When she came out she looked really mad. I got really scared. I don't like it when Okaa-san looks at me like this. She takes me home. Not saying a word in the car. Until we got home.

I lay underneath my covers crying. Okaa-san hit me really hard. My tummy hurts now. I told her I didn't do it. Okaa-san called me a liar like teacher. Okaa-san slapped me really hard. My cheek hurts too. I don't understand why no one believes me. Okaa-san called me mean names. She told me she hates me. That we have to pay for the window. That I was a ungrateful bastard ...just like otou-san. Okaa-san didn't let me eat dinner with the family tonight. I was given a sandwich. Okaa-san told me I can't eat dinner with family unless I confessed about the window. I didn't do it though. If I said I did it ... then I really would be a liar.

_January 17_

I didn't want to make Okaa-san even more mad at me. Only a few days after the window...something bad happened again. I had a really bad dream and I ... I accidentally wet my bed. Okaa-san really gets mad when I wet my bed. Last time Okaa-san hit me a lot of times. I shuffle in my blankets in the corner of my room crying. I don't want to tell Okaa-san. I don't want to get yelled at. When Shizuka wets her bed, Okaa-san kisses her and tells her its alright. Don't worry about it. She hold hers and tells her she loves her and will protect her. Why won't Okaa-san say though's words to me? I try to be a good boy for Okaa-san.

I guess I was crying really loud because Okaa-san came into my room. Telling me to shut up. That I woke her up. Not happy... Okaa-san looks at my bed and see's the wet stain. WHAT! AGAIN! MORE WORK! LITTLE BASTARD! ALWAYS MORE WORK! Okaa-san walks over to me and grabs my hair and lifts my face up. It's red and puffy from the tears. She slaps me and yells at me. She grabs the sheets off the bed and throws them at me. Okaa-san tells me to stop crying ... clean it up myself. Better not hear you ... or ELSE! Okaa-san leaves back to bed. I still lay on the floor crying ... I am still scared from that dream.

_January 20_

I've been feeling a weird feeling lately. Like when your in a dark room all by yourself with no on there. You feel like you need someone to be with you but there isn't. your going to go crazy if you don't have anyone there to hold you. tell you its alright. I don't like it. it feels scary and makes me really sad. I feel sad a lot. I don't like that feeling. It doesn't feel good. My birthday is in 5 days. I am making a birthday list. I hope I get a bike. Its on the top of my list. I have a bike, shoes (my old ones have holes in them now), and a dragon lord game (I can play it on shizuka's game system she got from her last birthday). I know not to ask for much or Okaa-san will get mad. Last Birthday she yelled asking me if I think I deserved such gifts. I don't remember anything else from my last birthday only I was really sad.

Okaa-san is doing dishes. I walk over to her. I held up my list. She ignores me. SoI put it next to her. She looks over at it then goes back over to washing dishes.

Shizuka for her birthday! she had a big birthday party! she invited her friends and it was fun. I like shizuka. She is the only one really nice to me. Her party was so great though! really fun! their was balloons and a clown! a big cake! shizuka always gets lots of presents. More then I get. Okaa-san got really mad when I asked her why. She hit me again and yelled more. Okaa-san says that my birthday is in the month where they have to pay taxes and can't spend a lot on me.

_January 24_

Tomorrow is my birthday. I can't wait. I am excited! I hope there will be a cake, a bike, and balloons! ...maybe a clown just like Shizuka's birthday! At school we got our test back. I didn't do good. Okaa-san will be mad. I don't want to show her. If I don't though she will get more mad. I did it once and Okaa-san got super mad. She hit me a lot and it left weird colors on me. called my mean names. I didn't do it ever.

At home I got scared. Okaa-san didn't seem in a good mood. I had to give Okaa-san the test though. When she saw it, I could see her eyes harden and her face go red. She yelled calling me a stupid child. I was going to grow up to be trash like otou-san. I told her if otou-san was trash then why was she married to him. she got really mad. she hit me really hard. but it wasn't like before. it hurt more. she usually used her palm but today she used her fist. she yelled at me. DON'T TALK BACK TO ME YOU LITTLE BASTARD! JUST LIKE OTOU-SAN! I HATE...hate...HATE YOU! Okaa-san hit my lots of times. Shizuka was in her room and came out at my cry's. She yelled at Okaa-san to stop hurting me. Okaa-san grew more mad and hit me more. My body really hurt when Okaa-san calmed down. She told me to go to my room and stay there. I don't think I will have a happy birthday.

_January 25 _

_Happy Birthday to me..._

When it's shizuka's birthday there is usually a balloon and one present for her to open in the morning. I was real excited! I never had a balloon or present to open in the morning. I always wanted one. Maybe this time I would get one! I woke up and got dressed real quick. I ran into the kitchen hoping to see a big balloon or present. nothing. I lowered my eyes.

Shizuka wished me a happy birthday. I don't feel happy though. School fun wasn't happy either. I got in a argument with teacher. I had to stay in during recess. I hoped teacher wouldn't call Okaa-san.

Today, must be lucky! Okaa-san didn't know about my argument at school. Teacher must have forgotten. When Otou-san came home. I got to open presents. I got a color book and crayons. I must have looked disappointed because Okaa-san got mad. She yelled at me. YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR PRESENT. SUCH A UNGREATFUL CHILD. THINK YOU DESERVE MORE. YOU STUPID LITTLE BASTARD. I didn't get to eat a piece of cake. I was in my bedroom. put to sleep. Okaa-san gave my color book to Shizuka.

_October 5_

Last months have been good. I haven't got Okaa-san mad lately.But at the park today ...

I noticed something. I was playing with some boys who were joking about girls and their chest. I don't find girls chest interesting. I told them too. They looked at my funny and laughed. called me names I haven't heard before. poof. fag. fairy. I knew what a fairy was. It was those little magical things that glowed and had pretty wings. a boy came up close to me and asked if I thought he was cute. he didn't look ugly. I told him. he laughed and asked if I wanted to kiss him. I never kissed anyone before. he got close to my face and quickly pressed his lips to mine. it felt weird. a good feeling though. I got butterfly's and smiled. I felt happy. the boys laughed and made some jokes. I was laughing. it was fun. another boy came over and asked if he could kiss me. I told him okay. since the last one was fun. he leant foreword but before he could kiss me I was jerked up. I turned and saw okaa-san. she was silent as she took me away. I got scared. did I do something bad?

I guess I did do something bad. Okaa-san hit me. a lot! more then ever! calling me mean names. YOU LIKE BOYS! FAG! FAG! FAG! LITTLE BITCH! BASTARD! I HATE YOU! I didn't think okaa-san would stop hitting me. she told me if I ever did _'that' _again. I would be in big trouble. when otou-san got home. okaa-san yelled at him about what happened and other things. otou-san got mad and hit her. she yelled and he screamed. they got in a big fight.

_December 12_

Something bad happened today. Okaa-san and Shizuka put all their things in boxes. They were going away. live somewhere else. I asked Okaa-san why. She glared at me and told me not to talk to her. **not my child**. _not your child_. **I hate you**. _you hate me_. _hate...hate.._

Otou-san was angry and yelled at Okaa-san as she packed. They screamed a lot. OKaa-san grabbed Shizuka's hand and walked out of the apartment. I didn't want shizuka to leave. I ran after Okaa-san tugging on her skirt asking her if I could come. She slapped my hand away and yelled at me to get away from her. **don't want you. little bastard**. she put shizuka in her car. I cried begging her not to go. I didn't want shizuka to leave. Okaa-san looked at me and told me to go away. Okaa-san started her car. I cried more. I didn't want to be alone. I chased at their car. I ran as fast as I could. I just wasn't fast enough...

_Present_

Living with Otou-san hasn't been that bad. He can be mean but he can also be alright. I had to get a job to support him. After Okaa-san left Otou-san started to go out more. drink more. hit more... I came to realize that I hate Okaa-san. I hate HATE her. I wish she died at times. Shizuka got sick. I went to see her but Okaa-san got mad. I finally yelled at her.

Bitch! I hate you! FUCKING BITCH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!

It made me happy. I also got friends now. They are nice. they support me. They don't hit me. I also have a crush even though he is really mean to me. but he notices me. it makes me happy. he reminds me of okaa-san sometimes and it scares me. he is really pretty. I want to kiss him. I am scared he might get mad though. so I didn't until ... this one night. but HE kissed ME! I was surprised. I didn't think anyone would really like me like that ever. He kissed me a lot. I liked it. He held me too. I liked that. I like being held. love...

'Katsuya, I love you' he whispers to me. I look at him. 'Please, don't call my katsuya. Jou is fine" I whisper. He tightens his grip on me 'Why'? "Because SHE called me that! That woman gave me that name. I don't want it" I relax in his hold. 'Okay, puppy' he kisses my cheek. I smile.

'I love you Seto. With you...I'm happy"

The End ...

0o ...man this turned out different then I planned. Not that good... oh well. well review tell me if you liked it or not. kinda corny I know. hehehe

VISIT MY SITE PLEASE! URL in profile...


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